Choosing to Show Up

This has been a week of work and a week of challenge. While using my creativity to find new ways to exist in this time and in this place, I have also tackled a life-long fear.

When I was young (probably around 6 or 7 years old), someone purposefully (in play) flipped me off of a float in a pool. I didn’t know how to swim, so the experience was traumatic, and I have always avoided putting my face in water since. As a result, I never learned how to swim beyond a doggy paddle (is this what it’s called in the UK? I don’t know.)

Watching my children swim has increased my desire to learn, so this week, I had my first lesson. And wouldn’t you know, the first thing I had to do was put my face under water for four seconds at a time. That is funny because I frequently meditate and/or do conscious breathing exercises throughout my day. Holding my breath for four seconds is not a big deal. Holding my breath for four seconds under water is another story entirely.

The system for booking lessons was not working properly, so I had to--in a number of ways--repeatedly say, “I choose to learn to swim.” This is another way of saying, “I choose to show up for myself.” Every single time I logged on to try the system, I said, “I choose to show up.” Every time I sent an email or made a phone call, I said, “I show up for myself.” And I will keep saying so as I go to the lessons.

In all of my healing work over the past nearly decade, the one thing I’ve learned is that if we are to choose healing, we must do so over and over and over again. At least that’s how it has been, it may become more spontaneous as ascension happens and dimensions change (loads of info on the internet about this, so I won’t go into it here). In my experience, whether it’s forgiveness or attitude adjustment or overcoming fear, I’ve had to say “I choose this” a million times and a million different ways, every single time the issue has come up. I’ve worked through forgiving myself and others, through some deep, intense darkness, by saying over and over to myself, “I forgive.”

The metaphysical community often talks about self-love without ever really giving a definition. To me, this is radical self-love. Showing up for ourselves, a million different times and in a million different ways, repeating over and over that we choose healing and love, this is my version of self-love.

I choose to nurture that traumatized child who is terrified of water on her face. I choose to hold her, to comfort her, and to guide her as she gets back in the water. I choose to show up for her when she needs help and reassurance. I choose to heal. And while I suspect that my issues go deeper than this one incident, I choose to believe that by healing this one, the rest will heal, too (and as I look up from writing, there is a rainbow in the clouds--promises made, and promises kept).

After all, I choose to believe in miracles.

Much love, y’all.

Where the Magic Happens

I’ve been feeling very much as if I were in a cocoon lately.

Emotions and moods have been intense, without even really knowing why. And I’ve preferred my cocoon to the company of others (sorry, Family!!), silence over the chatter and noise of everyday life.

While I know dramatic changes are occurring, my conscious mind is unaware of their exact nature. Think about it though….a caterpillar wraps herself in an unappealing cocoon, only to break free some time later as a beautiful butterfly. The magic happens inside that tough, antisocial shell. We don’t understand it, we can’t describe it, we only know It Is. This is exactly how I’ve been feeling. I don’t know what magic is happening, I only know It Is.

The best we can do for ourselves in times like this is intense self-care. Rest when needed/whenever possible. Find silent moments. Take deep breaths. Drink lots of water. Spend time in nature, hugging trees or simply moving our bodies. Stretch. Most importantly, allow. Allow the magic, even in times of doubt and misunderstanding. Allow the magic to happen so that when we break free from our chrysalis, we can fly freely as the beautiful creatures we are.

Creating Space

Over the weekend, I watched my five year old as she had her first swimming lesson in the next stage up. It has happened before, where she changed teachers or changed venues, and where before she had been timid or nervous, she simply did what was asked of her. Watching her like this reminded me that when we give ourselves the space to do new things, more often than not, we can actually do them. It’s more about allowing ourselves and removing self-imposed limitations.

This new year, 2019, is going to be all about creating space to allow ourselves to evolve, blossom, and thrive. I don’t know yet what that means for me, yet I look forward to each new day and intentionally open myself to the possibilities. With that being said, new products and services will appear on this site over the coming days and months. Additional changes will come as the year progresses, including some very exciting ones! I’m looking forward to seeing how my abilities evolve and what that means for Crystalline Dreams with Tara Olowoye (see? Already changing how I offer myself to the world with now using my name instead of hiding behind a business name.)

So what does the year have in store for you? Open your heart, create the space you need for your own evolution. I promise it will be worth it!

Much love,