I am a fix it girl. When people are hurting, broken, or simply looking to move on, I want to help them. In this post-eclipse, strange astrological season, everywhere I look, I see someone in pain. Someone I’d like to help. Yet I know that not every situation is for me to fix. Not every person needs help. Sometimes people need to sit with their own pain so they can learn from it and move forward. Sometimes people like to hold on to their suffering, they cling to it like a safety blanket, because they are terrified of what it means to heal. They are terrified of forgiving (themselves and others), and they are terrified of happiness. It’s hard for me to watch this. And yet, I see it all around these days, both among the people I love and in the collective (yes, whole societies/cultures).
Yesterday, I watched a spider do mortal battle with a fly right outside my window. Watching her fight for her food, and watching the other her fight for escape, a process that lasted about ten minutes, was incredible. Ultimately the fly escaped, having lost a leg. The lower part of the spider’s web was destroyed, and when I checked later, the spider had abandoned her web. This, however, is not the point of the story.
When I woke up this morning, the spider had not only returned, she had repaired her web beautifully and was awaiting her next meal. She repaired her web.
Nothing is irreparable. Nothing is irreparable. This played on repeat in my head this morning.
Whatever hurts, whatever trials, wherever we’ve been, we can heal and move forward from it. We can choose to stop our own suffering, rebuild our web, and move on. Let it go. Create something new, something beautiful.
As I was thinking, “Nothing is irreparable,” the song, “Make You Feel My Love” (Glee Cast version, written by Bob Dylan in 1997) popped in my head. (Cory Monteith comes through to me every once in awhile. If you’re unfamiliar, check out Finn’s storyline on “Glee”.) I listened to the haunting melody and sung along over and over and over. And I thought, “Wow, this is my love song to humanity.”
“When the rain is blowing in your face,
And the whole world is on your case,
I could offer you a warm embrace,
To make you feel my love”
My calling here, at this place and in this time, is to hold space for people. It's pure and simple. Hold space, warm, loving, compassionate space, for people to work through their pain. When I do “healing sessions,” I heal nothing. I hold space, I offer an energetic warm embrace, and help people feel love.
“I know you haven't made your mind up yet,
But I would never do you wrong
I've known it from the moment that we met,
No doubt in my mind where you belong”
I’m not always the most approachable person: I can be shy, craving alone time, or simply lost in my own thoughts. But I’m here, and thoroughly imperfect, and trying my best to help people. We all belong here at this moment in time. We all do! We all have something to learn, something to perfect, love to learn. We’re all working on it.
“Oh, the storms are raging on the rolling sea,
And on the highway of regret
The winds of change are blowing wild and free,
You ain't seen nothing like me yet”
The winds of change are blowing indeed. Old structures are falling away (hence all the upheaval over the past couple of years). There is no need to hold onto regret. There is no need for us to make ourselves suffer. We are all okay.
I have no idea where the path leads right now. Like many people, I’m figuring out where I can best do my work. The one thing I do know, though, is that we haven’t seen our best selves yet. We’re getting there.
Nothing is irreparable.
All it takes is a little love and attention to rebuild our webs.